"A sense of reverence includes the recognition that one is always in the presence of the sacred...The earth is full of thresholds where beauty awaits the wonder of our gaze." (John O'Donohue)
"After the ecstasy, the laundry." (Jack Kornfeld)
We are sitting in a non-descript little motel on the outskirts of Seattle, awaiting our Alaskan cruise adventure with Brother David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk and mystic, tomorrow. Our being here has not been without its adventures, including sudden and intense abdominal pain with fever two days ago. A quick trip to the emergency room confirmed what I thought, and had been treating from the outset: diverticulitis. Having no pain or fever today, and with meds in hand - along with a great deal of faith - we set sail Friday evening.
While Michael went golfing and on fishing trips with his friends, for the better part of the last week, I have already had the extreme grace to be in Brother David's presence on the tiny island of Cortes, a one hour drive and two ferry rides from Vancouver Island. Along with Rupert Sheldrake, a brilliant, cutting edge - and therefore controversial - biologist/scientist/cosmologist, David gave a series of talks that captivated our small group, and held us in an ethereal state of wonder and presence. I've tried for four days now to share stories with Michael, and capture a small sense of the experience, with little success.
So, as part of the process, and for those who have asked, I'm copying from the short journal entries I made while in the numinous presence of those days, with the hopes that we can cross somewhat the threshold of that beauty, and gaze in wonder together.
--"What could I journal that would speak as eloquently as the sky this morning? The panorama from the window of water and islands and layers of clouds shifting and moving creating a gentle overcast light, trees tickled by breezes and heart open in the love that flows from this gentle 85 year old monk, and the magic of Hollyhock on Cortes? So much of this is internal, an eternal response to a Master's touch, through David's presence and words. He is older and frail, with so many around draining him with questions and unspoken yearnings. He gives so freely, so effortlessly. He tells us to bless with our eyes, and without anyone's noticing, he does this around our circle before each gathering, as he leads us in simple musical rounds. I feel a special grace with his hug at the end of the first session.
--"Another morning, and the sun rises over the east coast of Cortes and Twin Island - my head, my soul, my heart spins in gratitude, awe, wonder, mystery...Here I sit on an isolated island deep in the mystery of the Pacific Northwest with one of the preeminent cutting edge spiritual biologists, and a mystical sacred carrier of a lineage of holy wisdom. Two of the most intelligent souls and brains on the planet discussing planet-shifting ideas and theologies, but mostly beyond both - Consciousness and the Sacred - eavesdropping on their talks, presented in an intimate workshop setting with 20 of us, sitting in a yurt under Douglas firs and hemlocks, steps away from the straits and channels of water that lead into Desolation Sound, and the ocean. Such an amazing invitation, such hope for the future.
--"Gifts everywhere. The sailboat ride into Desolation Sound, sitting alone on the bow, my head spinning from the scintillation of the morning session, needing no words for now, just listening to the water stroking the hull, feeling the gentle rise and fall of the boat, watching the panorama of exquisite beauty - 3 dimensional layering of forested islands, peaked hills bathed in bubble mists, and glaciered peaks showered with fragmented sunlight, ribbons of snow crevices streaming down the rocky faces, the sun warm on my face, the temps cool enough to be welcoming. Gift. Gift. Present of the Divine. Presence.
--"All is suffering," Joseph Campbell says. "And all is bliss." A baby seal pup cries pitifully, wedged between 2 barnacled rocks on a miniscule island, the destination of an impromptu rowing trip (impromptu for me. As I'm writing, Rupert walked up and asked if I'd accompany 7 others on a rowing adventure. "Well," I tell him, "I'm really not dressed, don't have the right shoes, don't have the right jacket." For each of my lacks, he counters: "You're dressed fine; Take your shoes off, rowing will warm you," until I have no excuses. "If your biology career doesn't work out for you," I say, "you could be a salesman." I am cold, and wondering why I came. Then it occurs to me that one day I'll be able to say I went rowing with Rupert Sheldrake.) The mother seal swam close by - all of us helpless. If we touched it, the naturalist told us, the parents would abandon it. We had to leave, trusting that Nature would take its course, that it wasn't so tightly wedged, and that the now rising tide would lift, not drown, it. We could only do as Brother David had suggested yesterday, give a blessing with our eyes. Two seals swam with our boat as we left, and we wondered if they were making sure we were gone, or in that anthropomorphic arrogance that is human nature, if they were signaling for help. The fleeting tho't occurred that we may have even startled it off the rocks by our arrival.
"But we did row away, leaving behind and around it prayers for protection, the graces of the Beneficence that had created it, and carrying with us the image of its beautiful soft grey-spotted head and fear-filled eyes.
"When the naturalist said the next morning that a kayaker reported mom and pup swimming together later in the day, we all expressed relief. How often the high tide of grace through the prayers and compassion of others lifts us from the tight places of our suffering - and IN our suffering - to a freedom of the soul.
--"So many gifts. So MANY gifts. The air, the wind, the water,the sounds, the silence - chanting together, singing in rounds, listening to Rupert's English accented recitations of the mysteries of the Cosmos, and Brother David's gentle Austrian recitations of the Cosmic mystery of Divine life. The eccentric characters for this eclectic retreat were right out of central casting: from the long-haired smoke-throated maintenance man to the Midwest couple from Ohio; from the tiny well-tanned black bear researcher straight from her 600 sq. foot log cabin in western Maine to the couple who had flown from Argentina just to be with Brother David, all in presence, some through experiences of extreme suffering, trusting in the rising tide of wonder that lifted us through our days in the bubble together."
This is such a small part of what the week was about. While listening to Rupert, I was too mesmerized to jot much of anything, trying desperately to hang-on by my mental, emotional and spiritual fingertips as he took us on a dizzying ride through cosmology, philosophy, the fields of morphic resonance, and the humor of God. From a sense of atheism, his own journey has taken him to the Indian ashram of Father Bede Griffith, also a Benedictine mystic, and back to his own devout practice as an Anglican. The deep respect and curiosity that Rupert and David shared was intimate and precious. On one especially profound afternoon, the light from the openings in the ceiling of the yurt played a halo and an aura around Brother David as he spoke. My friend, Janet, witnessed this from her position across the room, and watched amazed. She shared her observation with him after the session, and his comment was a playful smile and a simple "It's all part of the P. R."
When I tell my 7 year old niece Grace that I love her to the moon and back, she responds: "I love you to infinity!" Janet says that when she was small, she used to look up at the stars, and wonder what was beyond. She felt that she had gone beyond the stars during our week. I feel equally that I've danced beyond infinity.With a sense of reverence, we were in the presence of the truly sacred. I'm overjoyed that Michael will have a small chance to share this humble, grace-filled, joyful Presence now on the cruise.
I'll leave the final words to Brother David:
"Everything is FILLED with Divine reality! Everything is Divine, but the Divine goes infinitely beyond everything!"
YAY GOD
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